My Offering for National Poetry Month

In honour of National Poetry Month, here’s something I wrote when I was going through a Victorian morality poems phase (best example of this is Struwwelpeter by Heinrich Hoffmann).

Warning: I am NOT a poet! I write prose. Please lower your expectations accordingly!


Wicked Deeds

Gentle reader, listen clearly
To these stories, purchased dearly;
Of wretched children and their needs,
Of evil parents, evil deeds;
Who meet their ends, without a quarrel,
Read these tales and learn a moral.

John’s dad beat him every night,
Didn’t care about John’s fright;
One night John’s dad went too far,
So John pushed dad beneath a car.

Hannah’s mum ignored her needs,
Had no praise for Hannah’s deeds;
Spurned poor Hannah’s woes and cares,
So Hannah pushed her down the stairs.

Donny’s aunt thought pain was grand,
Stuck a needle in his hand;
Gouged his belly with a key,
Till Don put arsenic in her tea.

Lisa’s parents didn’t need her,
So they kindly didn’t feed her;
Lisa finally made a run,
But first she shot them with a gun.

Claire’s dad burned her with cigars,
Left poor Claire with awful scars;
Laughed and chuckled when Claire wept,
So poor Claire torched him while he slept.

Mummy brushed her daughter’s tresses,
Gave her dolls and frilly dresses;
Tired of being a girl was Jake,
He stabbed his mummy with a rake.

Sarah’s uncle called her dunce,
Called her stupid more than once;
Sarah’s uncle caused her strife,
So Sarah cut him with a knife.

Walter’s parents left him home,
Everyday he was alone;
Things were bad, his life was dire;
Until he set their house on fire.

That’s the end, these tales you’ve earned,
I hope you have a lesson learned;
Read them through and read them slow,
And never cause your children woe.

This entry was posted in Stuff.

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